Well, obviously

It is cold as a winter's day outside, which is weird, because it's actually winter right now.  Do you ever get tired of people stating the obvious?  It makes me want to regurgitate some piece of obvious information right back at them. 

Like today, when it was about 20 degrees outside and this chick tells me, "It's cold outside!"  I really wanted to look at her and say, really?  I didn't notice that as I was wrapping myself in 12 layers of shirts, jackets, sweaters, gloves, and scarves.  What I did notice is that you have a gigantic pimple on your cheek that needs to be dealt with...I'm sure you had no idea when you looked in the mirror this morning. Yes, I'm a smart ass.  I don't always say what I'm thinking, I'm sure you'll be pleased to know.

This whole noting the obvious thing is something that happens a lot in my house.  My dad has a terrible memory, which means that we all get to be blessed with him repeating himself over and over again.  He'll forget things like coffee in the microwave, left there to get stale and greet me when I go to heat up my lunch leftovers.  Sometimes he goes running three times in a day because he forgot he already went.  He is forever putting my dishes into random places in my kitchen, probably because he enjoys watching me have to scavenger hunt for them.  All of these things aside, there is one thing that he does that I have zero patience for, which is his tendency to bark out random OBVIOUS facts during either television or a movie.  It drives me fucking crazy.  I mean, I truly want to punch him in the face sometimes.  I love my dad, but you have no idea how irritating it can be when you're in the middle of watching a car in some fast paced action movie jump over a side rail and still be able to drive away from the cops who were chasing it, and then your dad says in an overtly obnoxious voice, "There is no way that would really happen."  Then he goes off about how the tires would have blown out, the axles would have been destroyed, and the shocks would be useless.  HE DOES THIS CRAP DURING CARTOON MOVIES!!!!

He's like my 3rd child, which sometimes is great, because I can get him to do chores, plus he's an amazing distraction for my kiddos, who are absolutely in love with their grandpa.  But some days...truly I just need to get out of the house, or quiet my mental breakdown with a nice big jack and coke.  Which sometimes works, but this sometimes backfires, because I don't like making Dad mad, but it's so easy when you've got a bit of liquid courage in you.  You see how aggressive I am in my daily speech; imagine what I could do when I've had the edge completely eliminated.

 Oh well...we piss each other off, but better pissed off than pissed on!  Have a great day!