Dance baby Dance

Today will be a good day. That's what I tell myself as my son is banging his matchbox car into the side of my head and yelling "I want to go to school!" I pull myself out of bed and bang my toe on the wall. SHIT! No, today is going to be a good day...

I get to the bathroom and go pee. Where is the toilet paper? Oh my GAWD! Are we really out of toilet paper? My dog is staring at me as I try to find something to wipe my ass with. At least I smell coffee. My son is now banging that same matchbox car on the bathroom door telling me that he now wants raisin bran. I tell him that he can't have cereal because we don't have time, and now he informs me that he doesn't want to go to school anymore. Kids are so fickle.

Now the dog is growling her own "I've gotta pee too" warning. Shit! There's a washcloth...guess I'll have to use that. Better than drip drying. I get up and head into the front room, the dog hot on my heels. She stands at the back door expectantly. She couldn't be more clear if she was doing the peepee dance. I am amused at this point.

Enter my son again. I WANT RAISIN BRAN! C'mon bub, how about a breakfast bar? He thinks about it. Ok. I get his breakfast bar and look at the coffee pot expectantly. Wait, I know I smelled coffee. Why isn't there any coffee????? DAAAAAD!!!!

Ugh. This day is only 20 minutes in and already I'm stressed. I can't drink vodka in the mornings...that's just inappropriate, unless you're tailgating, camping, or on a road trip. Instead I opt to wait for the new pot of coffee to finish percolating and I head in to brush my teeth. But we're out of toothpaste. Crap. Where is the kahlua so I can creamer this coffee?