Have you ever noticed that your favorite drink goes down like water? No matter what time of day it is? Okay, so I'm a mom, and I shouldn't say no matter what time of day, but for me, vodka with soda and a lime is a phenomenal drink. Not just average, like beer. Or above average, like a margarita. But PHENOMENAL.
Take today for example. I have two sick kids, turning into pigs according to the news, or something along those lines. They LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE their mommy. And I adore them and cherish them and LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE them too. However, there is only so many times that my daughter can stomp her feet while telling me that "my juice isn't COLD mommy!!!!" before I completely blank out and continue putting more ice cubes into her diluted glass of apple juice while imagining that this is a drink for myself. It might not suprise you to know that I was imagining a vodka with soda and a lime.
My son is a different card. It's not his tantrums that drive me to drink. It's his incessant mamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. And don't get me wrong, because I love him loving me. It makes me happier than you'll ever know. But damn it...when did I lose my birth name? Nobody ever calls me Krystie anymore. Not even the husband. Sad, but true.
The reason that my drink is so phenomenal, is that not only does it help me relax, but all those worried thoughts tend to slowly slip out of my consciousness, moving back toward tomorrows worries. It's a good way to end the day. :) No other drink that I know gives me the warm fuzzies and helps my insomnia go away all at the same time. No Ambien for me thank you. Vodka soda w/ a lime, any night.
I don't typically drink during the daytime. It's usually reserved for after the kids are tucked in, allowing myself some unwinding time, good times by myself, doing homework, creating flyers for vibrators, or some other mundane task like performing fellatio on my husband. (yet another reason to drink) I love giving head, but it becomes like a chore when the favor is never returned. Vodka soda w/ a lime anyone? And yes, I hope he reads this.
Don't judge me people. We all have our vices...don't get me started on them. The guy who whacks off at every coffee break. The mom who pops all of her "over the counter" medication. The chica who self medicates by having sex with as many men as she can never count. The 17 year old who still sucks her thumb. Yeah, there really is one. She's actually in my family. Vices are normal. I believe that you are pretty abnormal if you have no vices. More power to you. But don't try to tell me about it. Because if you do, I'll probably just shut you up with another vodka soda with a lime.
