My life is complicated. No, not my marriage or my kids or anything. Just the path that I am walking down. I have a tendency to plan out these large, complicated goals for myself, and then find a reason why I can't actually accomplish them. I graduate in December, which is awesome. What's the problem you ask? Well, what the hell am I going to do with myself after that? Does anyone else out there find themselves in this situation? I had a plan last year. I was going to go to law school and fight for justice for those who can't fight for it themselves. Then I realized just how much time that was going to take away from my kids. Ya'll know I can't miss that much T-Ball!! Plus there's the cost. Where on earth was I going to come up with that money? The idea of missing out on so much of my kids' lives and not being able to provide for them for three more years...well, that was just too much for me.
So I changed my plan. I decided that I would go and work for a government agency that would pay for me to get my Master's of Social Work, get my clinical hours in, and then be able to do private practice therapy, which is still a pretty darn good living. Now I'm questioning that too. I interned at this agency for a short period of time, and realized that I just can't do that kind of work. It is too heart breaking and doesn't do enough problem solving for me. I still want to do the Master's thing, and I know that I'll do it, but now I'm concerned about how I'm going to get there. It's a scary thing, uncertainty. I'm used to it, but it doesn't make life any less scary.
I hope I pick the right path this time...I'm tired of running into walls. Although the climbing over
is good for my thighs.
