Money matters....

Money means a lot.  It can mean the difference between healthcare or no healthcare.  (For me its a no healthcare, lol).  It can mean McDonald's or Olive Garden.  It can mean electricity on or off.  It also means a lot of fights and heartache.  A world without money would not turn round very well, but sometimes I wonder if all the headache about money is truly worth the headache.  I have gotten pretty good at controlling our money outflow in our household.  It's that input that keeps getting to me.  My hubby works extra hard to get his ass out there and bring us in the dollars, but it just seems that those dollars are getting shorter and shorter these days. 

I've been blessed enough to not have to work for the last 5 months or so, but I recently picked up a new bartending job because we are stretched beyond our input, once again.  I've even become one of those crazy coupon ladies that you see on TLC.  And the kids don't get it.  Hell, Emily thinks that we're rich!  She even told me so!  Apparently money is of no consequence to them, and why should it be?  They shouldn't have to worry about Mom and Dad not being able to pay for the fun stuff.  Most of the time they don't...they're just happy to be loved by everyone in our house.  They have what they need, and a lot of what they want. 

So why can't I get over it?  I know that I'm blessed, beyond measure, but is it really so wrong to not want to have to worry about the dollars in the bank?  I know that our future is right around the corner, and I know in my heart that we will not have to live like this forever. I know that we have a plan, and we're going to get there.  Right now I think I need to spend a little more time volunteering, because seeing the lives that I do when I volunteer helps me remember that I am SOOOOO beyond blessed.  Life could be much worse, in so many ways.  So many people are out there struggling even more than I am, so I need to just get over myself, give my family a big kiss, and keep on walking.  :)